oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
