She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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