You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
