If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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