Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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