are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
honey bunches of taint.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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