I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
