I don't think brook has ever known best
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
