I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
