Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
