you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
