you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Buhtt sex?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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