I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
