why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
