I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
