She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
