my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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