its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
