The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
