He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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