guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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