im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
