Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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