Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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