so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
