thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
