somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
