No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
