she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Enjoy the penises
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I enjoy the company of your penis
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
