So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Houston, we have a squirter
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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