How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
