hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
