Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
