I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
