I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Still dying that you shit outside
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
