OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
