somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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