I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
