So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
