yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
