I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
