i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
