I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
