So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize