Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
