Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
