Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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