Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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