I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
