Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's blow job season.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
