Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
