Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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