I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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