no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
