can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
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