i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
