it hurts more in the daytime
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
